Transitions

This is a post I had hoped I would not have to write. I’ve been avoiding it, out of fear that writing this out, will make it real. (And yes, this post is entirely personal and has nothing to do with game development or writing… but it explains my silence here.)

After eight months of separation my wife and I are divorcing.

I can’t explain how writing those words makes me feel. She’s been my best friend for sixteen years and I still wake up in the middle of night wanting to talk to her. And I know I can’t.

On the positive side, this has been a year of personal growth for me, confronting and managing my anxiety and depression. I’ve traveled extensively, spent several weeks in Orlando (which is truly a magical place), worked up the courage to attend support meetings with other men, each suffering their own unique brand of anguish. I’ve spent long nights driving through sleeping cities and thinking, I’ve reconnected with family and friends I have neglected for too long. And I’ve had some truly memorable experiences with my sons, bonding and growing with them.

Most important I’ve done some serious soul searching in regards to what I want to do. More on this later.

A huge thanks to the friends (both old and new), family, and past/present/future coworkers who have been so supportive. I’ve leaned on you all, heavily, and though I hope you never suffer such that you need my support, if you do, I’m here.